Do You Have to Be Christian to See a Christian Counselor?
"I saw on your website that you're a Christian therapist. My spouse is Christian, but I'm not. Would you still work with us?"
"I'm not religious, but I really connected with what you wrote about vulnerability and connection. Can I still see you for therapy?"
"We're both Christian, but my partner is much more devout than I am. I'm worried I won't be 'Christian enough' for Christian counseling."
As a Christian couples therapist in Greensboro, NC, I receive questions like these regularly. And I'm glad people ask, because it's an important question: do you have to be Christian to benefit from working with a Christian counselor?
The short answer is no. But the fuller answer requires some nuance, so let me explain what you can expect, who might benefit from working with me, and how to know if it's a good fit.
What "Christian Counselor" Actually Means
First, let's clarify what I mean when I identify as a Christian therapist. It doesn't mean:
I only work with Christians
I'll judge you if you don't share my beliefs
Every session will feel like a Bible study
I'll try to convert you
You have to pretend to believe things you don't
What it does mean:
My understanding of humans, relationships, and healing is shaped by Christian theology
I integrate faith and psychology cohesively in my practice
I'm comfortable discussing spiritual matters when relevant
I draw from biblical wisdom alongside clinical insights
My approach to therapy is informed by my worldview
Think of it this way: every therapist has a worldview that shapes how they understand people and problems. Mine happens to be Christian. I'm explicit about that rather than pretending to be neutral (because true neutrality doesn't exist—everyone operates from some framework).
What You Get: Clinical Excellence and Wisdom Traditions
Here's what I bring to therapy that can benefit anyone, regardless of their religious beliefs:
1. Solid Clinical Training
I'm a licensed therapist with training in evidence-based approaches to couples therapy. I use methods like Emotionally Focused Therapy, insights from attachment theory, and research-backed communication strategies. These aren't "Christian" techniques—they're sound clinical practice that helps couples regardless of their faith background.
You'll get the same quality of clinical care you'd receive from any well-trained therapist.
2. A Values-Based Framework
My Christian worldview emphasizes values that most people—religious or not—can appreciate:
Commitment and covenant faithfulness: The idea that relationships require dedication beyond just feelings
Grace and forgiveness: The practice of extending mercy and working toward reconciliation
Humility and self-examination: The willingness to look at your own contributions to problems
Sacrificial love: Caring for your partner's wellbeing, not just your own
Hope and redemption: The belief that relationships can heal and grow, even after serious wounds
Truth and honesty: The importance of authenticity in relationship
These aren't exclusively Christian values—they're human values that Christianity articulates in particular ways. You don't have to share my theological beliefs to appreciate the wisdom in these principles.
3. Depth of Insight from Wisdom Traditions
Christianity has two thousand years of reflection on human nature, relationships, suffering, forgiveness, and love. That's a deep well of wisdom. Even if you don't accept the theological claims of Christianity, you might find value in the insights about human experience that have been refined over centuries.
For example:
The recognition that humans are prone to self-deception and need outside perspective
The understanding that real transformation requires more than just trying harder
The insight that suffering can lead to growth (though it doesn't always)
The acknowledgment that we all fall short of our ideals and need grace
The emphasis on community and not facing struggles alone
These insights can enrich therapy even for people who don't share the religious framework they emerged from.
4. Attention to Meaning and Purpose
One thing that distinguishes my approach from purely secular therapy is attention to questions of meaning, purpose, and what makes life worth living. I don't assume that happiness or personal fulfillment are the ultimate goals. I'm interested in helping you build a relationship that reflects your deepest values and gives your life meaning. That also means not presuming to know what will make you happy or fulfilled, we are each created differently and desire different things.
This philosophical depth can be valuable whether or not you frame it in religious terms.
When This Works Well: Scenarios Where Non-Christians Benefit
Based on my experience, here are situations where working with me makes sense even if you're not Christian:
Scenario 1: Mixed-Faith Couples
One of you is Christian and wants a therapist who understands and honors that faith, while the other isn't Christian but is open to a therapist who takes faith seriously.
What this looks like in practice: I'll honor both partners' perspectives. I won't expect the non-Christian partner to adopt beliefs they don't hold, but I will explore how faith shapes the Christian partner's experience and expectations. We can navigate the real differences in worldview without requiring everyone to agree. Sometimes, this allows the secular partner to understand better the values the Christian partner has not been able to express well as well as helping the Christian partner understand the secular partner’s point of view.
Scenario 2: You Value the Approach, Not the Theology
You've read my blog posts or heard about my approach, and something resonates—the emphasis on vulnerability, delight, creating positive cycles, being fully known. You're drawn to the therapeutic approach itself, even if you're not particularly interested in the religious framework.
What this looks like in practice: We can focus on the relational dynamics and practical tools without making every conversation explicitly theological. My Christian worldview informs how I understand relationships, but we don't have to spend time on doctrine unless you want to.
Scenario 3: You're Spiritually Open but Not Committed
You're not sure what you believe. Maybe you grew up Christian but drifted away. Maybe you're exploring faith but not ready to commit. Maybe you're interested in spiritual questions but don't identify with organized religion. You want a therapist who can engage with these questions thoughtfully.
What this looks like in practice: We can explore spiritual and existential questions as they relate to your relationship without requiring you to arrive at particular conclusions. I can offer perspective from a Christian framework while respecting where you are in your own journey.
Scenario 4: You Want Expertise, Not Just Technique
You're looking for a therapist with depth—someone who thinks philosophically and theologically about relationships, not just someone offering communication techniques. You value that I bring both clinical training and pastoral background, even if you don't share my religious beliefs.
What this looks like in practice: You benefit from the depth of reflection I bring to understanding relationships, even if you wouldn't frame things in religious language. The dual training (clinical and theological) gives me a richer perspective than purely clinical training alone.
What to Expect: How Sessions Actually Work
If you're wondering what it would actually be like to work with me as a non-Christian, here's what you can expect:
I won't hide my worldview. I'm explicit about being a Christian therapist, and my Christian understanding of humans and relationships will inform how I work. But I won't force it on you or require you to adopt my beliefs.
I won't proselytize. Therapy isn't the place for converting people. My job is to help your relationship, not to evangelize. If you're curious about faith, I'm happy to discuss it. If you're not, that's fine. I often say to clients, “This is something to take to your pastor” when it is more appropriate for a pastor to lead the conversation.
I'll use clinical language when appropriate. We can talk about attachment styles, emotional regulation, communication patterns, and negative cycles without making everything explicitly theological. The Christian framework is there, shaping how I understand these things, but we can work practically.
I'll respect your boundaries. If you're uncomfortable with prayer, Scripture, or religious language, just tell me. I can adapt my approach while still bringing my full expertise to the work.
I'll be honest when religious differences matter. Sometimes faith differences create real challenges for couples. If that's true for you, I won't pretend it's not. We'll address it directly and work on finding paths forward that honor both partners.
I'll offer perspective you might not get elsewhere. My training in both theology and clinical practice means I can engage questions about meaning, morality, forgiveness, and purpose in ways that purely secular therapy might not. Even if you don't share my religious framework, you might find value in a perspective that eschews modern ideas of happiness and purpose and looks deeper.
When This Might Not Work: Being Honest About Fit
There are also situations where working with me might not be the best fit:
If you're hostile to Christianity. If you find Christian beliefs offensive or if discussing anything from a Christian perspective would make you uncomfortable, a secular therapist would probably serve you better. I'm not going to hide my worldview, so if that's a problem, this isn't a good match.
If you want purely secular therapy. If you specifically want an approach that's completely divorced from any religious framework, I'm not your best option. While I can work with non-Christians, my approach is shaped by Christian thought. If you want something completely secular, seek that out—there are excellent therapists who work from purely secular frameworks.
If one partner would feel invalidated. Sometimes in mixed-faith couples, the non-Christian partner worries that a Christian therapist will always side with the Christian spouse or will try to "fix" the non-Christian. If that concern is strong enough that you couldn't trust me or feel safe, that's important information. Trust is essential in therapy, so if you can't get there, we're not a good fit.
If you need help with something outside my expertise. I specialize in couples therapy with particular focus on connection, intimacy, communication, affair recovery, and premarital counseling. If you need something else (individual therapy for severe mental health issues, substance abuse treatment, etc.), you should work with someone whose expertise matches your need, regardless of religious orientation.
Questions to Ask Yourself
If you're considering working with me but aren't sure whether it's a good fit, here are questions to help you decide:
Am I comfortable with my therapist having a Christian worldview, even if I don't share it? If yes, we might work well together. If no, seek a secular therapist.
Can I respect my partner's faith (if they're Christian) enough to work with a therapist who takes it seriously? If yes, this could help bridge your differences. If no, that's important to know.
Do I want a therapist who engages questions of meaning, purpose, and values, or do I want to focus purely on practical skills? I offer both, but the philosophical/existential dimension is part of my approach. If you want only practical techniques, there are therapists who focus exclusively on that.
Am I open to considering perspectives that come from Christian wisdom traditions, even if I'm evaluating them through my own lens? If yes, you might benefit from the depth this adds. If no, it might feel irrelevant or intrusive.
Do I trust that this therapist will respect my autonomy and not try to convert me? If you believe I will (and I won't), we can work together. If you're skeptical, read more of my content, ask me directly in a consultation, or choose someone else.
The Value of Working Across Difference
Here's something I've learned over years of practice: sometimes working with a therapist whose worldview differs from yours can be valuable precisely because of that difference.
When you work with someone who sees the world exactly as you do, you might get validation and support, but you might not get the perspective that challenges you to grow. A therapist who brings a different (but respectful) worldview can offer insights you wouldn't encounter otherwise.
This doesn't mean the difference has to be religious—it could be cultural, generational, philosophical. But there's value in engaging with someone who can offer a perspective you wouldn't naturally arrive at yourself, as long as that engagement is respectful and not coercive.
If you're willing to work across our religious difference, you might find that difference enriching rather than limiting.
My Commitment to You
Whether or not you share my Christian faith, if you choose to work with me, here's what I commit to:
Clinical excellence: You'll receive evidence-based, professionally competent therapy
Respect for your autonomy: I won't try to impose my beliefs on you
Honest communication: I'll be clear about my approach and open to questions
Attention to your actual goals: We'll work on what you came for, not what I think you should work on
Integrity: I'll be the same person regardless of whether you share my faith
Care for your relationship: My ultimate goal is helping your relationship thrive, regardless of your religious beliefs
Taking the Next Step
If you're still not sure whether working with me makes sense for you, I encourage you to:
Read more of my content. My blog posts give you a sense of how I think about relationships, what I value, and how I approach therapy. If the content resonates, that's meaningful information.
Schedule a consultation. We can talk directly about your concerns, what you're looking for, and whether we'd work well together. Consultations are specifically for figuring out fit.
Ask direct questions. If you have concerns about how my Christian identity might affect your therapy, ask. I'll answer honestly so you can make an informed decision.
Trust your gut. Sometimes you just know whether someone is a good fit or not. Trust that instinct.
The Bottom Line
Do you have to be Christian to see a Christian counselor? No. But you do need to be comfortable with a therapist whose Christian worldview shapes how they understand people and relationships.
If you value clinical excellence combined with depth of insight from wisdom traditions, if you're open to perspectives that might differ from your own, if you want a therapist who takes questions of meaning and purpose seriously—then working with me might be a great fit, regardless of your religious identity.
If you need someone who operates from a completely secular framework, or if Christianity makes you deeply uncomfortable, or if you couldn't trust a Christian therapist to respect your autonomy—then you should seek that out. There's no shame in knowing what you need and finding it.
My door is open to anyone who wants to build a healthier, more connected relationship and who can respect the perspective I bring—even if we don't share the same faith. The question isn't whether you're "Christian enough." The question is whether my approach to helping couples resonates with what you're looking for.
If it does, I'd be honored to work with you.
Have questions about whether Christian couples therapy would be a good fit for you? Contact Cardinal Counseling Connection today to schedule a consultation in Greensboro, NC.
